A lovely home, an attic, but no peace.

This bible verse came right on time! I was fed up and this was just the verse I needed to confirm my frustrations. The Lord must agree with me if it’s in His word…twice as a matter of fact! -Tim Atkins

Proverbs 21:9 and 25:24 says this:

It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. NLT

I first read this passage back in 2010 and those were my exact thoughts. So what eventually happened is that I found that space, as small as the corner of an attic. It was dark, isolated, and I chose it over the beautiful home that I lived in. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life.

Every now and again for the last 9 years, I’d read that passage, and each time I laughed at what I thought was the truth behind it. Until, a couple of weeks ago, It hit me. A very new meaning of that passage took root as I listened to another man describing that he’d be okay in that cold, dark, isolated corner. It became very clear…

Most men would rather live in the corner of an attic than to have to face the real challenges of marriage, in a lovely home.

Ouch. I’d been immaturely quoting that proverb for almost a decade. There’s always been apart of me that’s known I was a sucka for giving that passage too much energy but I had know idea I was a sucka, sucka!

There’s a moment in the book of Mark, chapter 10, where Jesus is approached…

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” ³ “What did Moses command you?” he replied. ⁴ They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”⁵ “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,”Jesus replied.

Mark 10:2-5

I refused to read my bible. I didn’t pray. I made myself comfortable in my corner. I intentionally hardened my heart. I know exactly what that passage is referring to.

I thought I just wanted peace, but the absence of conflict is not the birthplace for peace. Real peace, is more evident within conflict than it is without.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.² He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,³ he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.⁴ Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. ⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Psalm 23

³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

Mark 4:35-41

Vicious storms, death valleys, evil, enemies, and especially marital conflict, there’s a benefit to knowing, and trusting the good Shepard, and having Him lead you. But, if you’d forgotten His benefits like I did or if you just aren’t privy to how faithful God is, it’s almost impossible to walk through those sort of things.

There is one other nugget I was able to pull from that old Proverb, the lovely home. The lovely home was well taken of, I’m picturing HGTV-esque, but on the inside, war was taking place. There was a perception of peace but the reality was far from it. I know exactly what that’s like too. So you wonder, can true peace be obtained?

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

I’m going to wear this recipe out. I’ll continue to ask the Father for His peace through prayer, and be thankful for what He has done, because He has been faithful. Even when I took His word and used it to justify my frustrations, He was and still is faithful.